Dating Services and Tips

Gay and Lesbian Dating

If you’re looking for a same-sex encounter or relationship, there are definitely a variety of options online.  Over 160,000 searches were made for ‘gay dating’ and over 50,000 searches were made for ‘lesbian dating’ in July 2005*.

Whether you’re exploring your sexuality or just looking to play, chances are you’ll find what you’re looking for at one of the specialized gay and lesbian sites we’ve reviewed:

Gay Dating Sites

Lesbian Dating Sites

If you can’t find what you’re looking for at the gay or lesbian dating sites, check out the alternative dating sites.  If you’re looking for couples or groups, alternative is a great place to look.

Alternative Dating Sites

* According to Yahoo! Search Marketing 

Do Girls Lie?

This is a tongue-in-cheek follow-up to my post from yesterday on telling the truth online.  Last night I turned on CMT and Canadian country singer Terri Clark was being profiled.  For those of you who aren’t big country fans – I’m sure you guessed that CMT stands for Country Music Television.   

Terri was singing a number of her hits including Girls Lie Too*.   I’ve included a couple lines from the song below:

"Girls lie, too

We don’t care how much money you make

What you drive or what you weigh

Size don’t matter anyway"

* Written by Connie Harrington, Kelley Lovelace & Tim Nichols

If you want to listen to a sampler of the tune or check out the album visit:

While you’re at it, visit Terri’s site (www.terriclark.com) - maybe she’ll be in a town near you too!

Rate That Dater

You’ve met a great guy or gal online.  You’re about to meet in person.  How do you know if they’re who they say they are? 

If you’ve been dating online for more than 3 months it’s likely that you’ve met someone in person who didn’t match their profile in some way.  Maybe they’re shorter than they said.  Or older.  Maybe they used a picture from 15 years ago… before they put on 40 pounds etc etc.   Men and women are both guilty.

In the world of the internet - where there’s a problem, there’s usually a solution not far behind.  Two websites have been created to help the honest people fight back.

On True Dater you can submit comments about people you have met on 5 specified dating sites.   You can also do a search of a user name to see if anyone else has written a review.  You do have to be a free member to use this function.

Opinity is an ‘online reputation service’ where you can review online daters and/or people you bought products from via online auctions.  You can also see what’s been written about you!  You need to register as a free member to access the full report on any search.

Both sites are fairly new so I don't know how many daters have been rated.

I’ve even heard of people using online background search services before travelling a long distance to meet a potential love they’ve met online.  If you’ve got a nagging doubt, it never hurts to check it out. 

In my experience, most people are honest.  I’ve only met one… well two (and that’s a whole other story) who didn’t tell the truth about little things.   It sure would be easier if people just told the truth…

"He's Just Not That Into You" (Book)

Greg Behrendt, the co-author of "He's Just Not That Into You," was on an Oprah show repeat yesterday.  I didn't take notes the first time, but I did this time.  See if you're in any of these stories...

Amy:   Her boyfriend would break-up with her and then come back.  This went on and on for three years.   Amy shared how she felt stupid to be doing this but then found out that this was happening to other women as well. 

The answer:  'He's just not that into you.'

Angela & Chris:  They've been together for 6 years.  She wants to get married but he doesn't.  He even bought her an engagement ring but since he wouldn't set a date, she wouldn't wear it.  It was a blunt but somewhat funny when Angela shared: 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"  (A friend had said something similar 10 years ago when her live-in boyfriend wouldn't propose...)   

The answer:  It's fine to be in the middle of the road when it comes to marriage if you're with someone who's in the middle of the road or just doesn't care.  If you want to get married then you need to be with someone who wants to get married.

Katrina:  Her boyfriend has a list of things she needs to do to make changes in her life before they can get married.  He suggested she change her career so she could contribute more financially, and she did.  Her question:  "After 5 years do I really need to change?"

The answer:  When someone demands changes it's an excuse.  What if you just said this isn't working and left?  She said she did that.  Greg asked if the relationship was getting better.  Katrina couldn't say it was.

Oprah shared an interesting point.  She was sharing how we live in empowered times yet women are still not empowered in the area of relationships. 

Greg really was a sincere and funny guy.  He shared how he had been there too.  He got cheated on by a girlfriend.  She then moved to another city and was with a new boyfriend, yet Greg still had hope that it would work out with him and his ex.  Then he realized - she just wasn't that into me.

When you hear each person tell their story it seems so obvious that the other person just isn't into them.  It doesn't make it good, bad, right, or wrong - it doesn't make you dumb or stupid - it's just reality.  Yet when we're 'in it' and so close to the problem or challenge, sometimes we just can't see clearly.  We each deserve to be in and create the relationship we desire.

For more stories and what Greg's responses were, visit Oprah's Website.  (This link will take you to the exact page with the stories.)

You can purchase your own copy of Greg's book below:

He's Just Not That Into You
The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
by Greg Behrendt, et al

Rejection Hotline

I read about this website offering a service called the Rejection Hotline.  You can give someone a phone number from the site and choose the rejection line you want the person to hear when they call. 

So if someone asks for your phone number, instead of telling someone you’re not interested and don’t want to give them your number, you can use this service. 

It seems like the easy way out to me.  Why not just say no.  I guess it comes back to ‘treat others how you want to be treated.’  It’s all karma in the end and what goes around does tend to come back around…  If you can’t tell someone ‘No, I’m not interested’ then how will you ever deal with the big stuff when it comes around?!